by Endre Voros
- 99% of what currently passes for mindfulness today is only the ego having a fantasy about being more mindful. We each allow the ego to narcissistically and pridefully admire itself.
- Mindfulness is not only a sense of calm or zen bliss. This small part of presence has been overemphasized and again typically only feeds the ego and does not feed presence itself.
- True mindfulness or true presence is not about feeling good or feeling like you are becoming a better person. In fact, it has nothing to do with our emotions or our beliefs about ourselves.
- If we cannot see how easily we deceive ourselves over and over again and allow the ego to find more and more creative and subtle ways to protect itself and dominate our lives, then we are unknowingly being used by the ego for its own purposes.
I do not have the answer for what to do, but I do have a sense that:
- If I do not start by seeing the almost complete futility of my efforts, then I do not have the humility to begin to even attempt to be present.
- If I do not recognize that the majority of the time I am much smaller than the whole of my presence then I have no possibility of being present.
- While presence includes calm, it also includes tension. Presence is always much bigger than my understanding of it. Presence is a paradox. It is both gentle and radical. It is both courageous and soft and compassionate. At the same time, it does not fit into the box of any of these labels.
- Presence or mindfulness is not just one thing. It is not just participation in my being or absorption in myself. It includes being in life. But again, we do not know how to do this, I do not know how to do this. Yet through this state of unknowing, things can begin to shift.
Perhaps now, there is something that can be done.
When it comes to 99% of what we collectively call mindfulness, when it comes to 99% of what I call mindfulness within myself, I call bullshit. 99% of the time, I am lying to myself.
Now, can I start differently than before, in a more real way?